Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Moving across Canada

Well, I did it. 
I packed up my entire life into four bags in less then two days - we won't talk about the things I couldn't pack, it's still a sensitive subject. And it wasn't until I strategically packed it into my Chevrolet that I realized for the first time in a long time, I didn't know when I would be home again. 
Deciding to move across the country wasn't a hard choice for me. Ever since my first visit to BC I knew it was a matter of when, not if. And I did, for a summer. It was exciting, exhilarating and I learned more about myself there then I have anywhere else in the world. So when the opportunity arose to move back, my heart fluttered with joy. Only this time I had more of a life I was leaving behind, compared to other times. My cat, my dog, countless commitments that crept into my schedule having stayed in one place for a few years, and most importantly, my family. 
Considering my family was finally together again for the first time in 10+ years, this was more of a deal breaker then it had been in the past. I love my family and change isn't something I take easily so I constantly suffer from what I like to call FOMO, fear of missing out. While I have always marched to the beat of my own drum, traveling to me was no different. I would go my own way and always knew that sooner or later I would return home and once again things would go back to the way they were. We'd all wake up on Saturday morning, coffee (and Baileys) in hand and catch up as we relaxed in the hot tub. At days end, we would have a long dinner, typically started and followed by good conversation and wine, our beverage of choice. 
But this isn't just another trip, it's a life change. Or an adventure with no expiry date, as I like to call it (it doesn't sound as intimidating this way). I don't know when I will be home again for dinner, or when I will be able to take my dog Hunter for a run to our favourite spot. I won't have summer trips to the cottage and meeting up with my sisters for drinks will now be done via FaceTime. 
The only thing I know is, I can't win- I'm missing out if I go and I'm missing out if I stay. "You're only young once,"  was the deciding factor in this cross-Canada trek. So when the time came to say goodbye to my parents, they once again stood there with smiles on their faces, the same one that often matched mine as I was about to set off on the yachts. Only this time, those smiles were hidden behind tears, once again matching my own. Which quickly turned into a full on waterfall. What can I say, hearing your dad tell your boyfriend "you take care of her for me" is an emotional and literal change that hit me like a Mac truck. I know I have used this term before, but this has truly been an emotional roller coaster and it won't fully hit me until I arrive at our place in Whistler next Monday. Until then, I'm going to enjoy my second drive across the county, only this time it's with my boyfriend, best friend, partner in crime and, my new Saturday morning routine.