The 'Then'

My creativity is at all all time high. Sure, I may be forgetting to lock the front door on my way out or let my sisters dog weasel out of her leash and collar, but that is minor in the scheme of things. 
I have been enjoying working around the house to make it look ten-years younger. I am fixing, painting, organizing and beatifying everything around me. Crafts never seemed so fun, and it makes me want to re-live my summer from 10 years ago. 
So I am. Only modified. 
The only real reason I get up is to work on my sweet tan lines. The only thing better than enjoying a Popsicle on a hot day is going for a dip in the pool. And I have finally brushed the dust off of all the novels I've longed to read for years. I am expanding my culinary pallet by cooking in the evenings, and I am finally watching all the black and white movies I kept saying I would. 
Sure, I have been job-hunting like it's my job (which, go figure it is!). But I feel like I have missed my window. Am I okay with that? Probably not. I desperately miss making new friends and forgetting what part of the world I'm in while drinking in a pub, but I know this will happen again in the future. So for right now I am enjoying the summer like in my golden days, work-free might I add.Why yes, I think this is exactly the summer the doctor ordered.  

 

Spandex vs. Country

Living in the country is great. 
I get to drive in peace. The windows can be down without the fear of getting crazy people coming up asking me for change when at a stop light. And the only fear of having your windows open while driving is swallowing a bug. Minor compared to getting stabbed [okay, maybe getting stabbed is a bit far stretched, but Hey, look what just happened in Vancouver] For the most part, you have an open road and take advantage by cruising at the speed you wish. 
So why would today be any different? 
I woke up to the sun shinning through my window, the warmth was enough to make me jump out of bed and get going. As I flip through the flyers, coffee mug in hand, I keep in mind I really need to get an idea for a Father's Day gift or I'm doomed! Half way through the pile, the idea [and the deal!] just come to me like any other bright idea of mine. "That's it," I say to myself. And, just while we're on this topic, Yes, I do talk to myself when no one is home. 
I grab my sunnies and my flyer and walk out the door with an unusual bounce in my step as I hold the keys to my mom's SUV. The engine purrs and I excitedly open the windows for my leisurely drive into town on this gorgeous day. 
As soon as I turn onto my road however, I soon realize there is nothing glorious about this drive. Let me just start by saying, I hate cycling. I am a very active person, but if you gave me the choice of a box on wheels, or a bike, I would choose the box. Nothing about the sport appeals to me, especially the tight spandex outfit that seems to come with it. I am very health conscious and love the fact of going green for the environment, so usually seeing a cyclist doesn't bother me. And I have lived in big cities where the main source of transportation is cycling, however, they have designated lanes and they know they are at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to big vehicles. But in the country, cyclists like to challenge that "status-quo". I was only 50 ft from the driveway when I passed the first group of cyclists. Then only another 50ft until the next group of six cyclists pass me. "Wow, must be a day for bikers," I mumble under my breath, as I hope this is the end of my run-in's with them. As I go around the bend and up the hill, I swear out loud as the road reveals swarms of them! Several clusters of threes and fours take over the road as I make my way towards town. You would think that in this situation the smaller things on the road would be swerving to avoid the bigger thing (aka. ME!) however, this was definitely not the case. These bikers just took over the road like it was their job. Biking in the middle of the road to the edge, and back over across the other lane of traffic. Just the thought of passing these crazy hooligans upset my stomach, as in all country roads, they are anything but flat and straight. Passing them on a whim would be like signing my own death certificate. 
"Please, be my guest, its not like this road is made as a direct route for people to get into town, and not just a leg of the race that you are in!" I was getting frustrated. If I wanted to drive into town going 20km/h then I would have hopped in my box and joined you. 
I think it was mostly the fact that these cyclists knew they were in my way and did nothing about it that fueled my anger. On many occasions they turned around, only to reveal that I was right on their ass and showing a displeased face, and they just continued on biking in the middle of the road anyway. Have some common courtesy. How come being in a cross-country race takes away the simple rules of the road to you, but still apply to me? 
I tightened my grip around the wheel as I talked myself out of pulling over the car and getting out to punch someone. I was clearly out numbered in this situation. 

certainly i'm in debted baby, certainly, certainly...

It hasn't been my year.

I know this fact seems obvious to most, but after careful observation from the past six months, it has fully hit me like a brick wall, "2011 is not my year."  

It all started as a glorious attempt to ring in the new year with my bestie in the magical city of Toronto, with more then enough drinks. But the club was packed tighter then a sardine can, everyone sweaty and doing the fist pump [that should have been my warning right there!] and then, no kiss. Yup, you heard me right. No new years kiss. Why yes my friends, this may come as a shock to you all, as I am usually quite set in that department - but that's besides the point. You'd actually be even more tickled to know that I've never had a new years kiss- sure, I've made out under the stairs in high school and in the pouring rain like a scene outta Hollywood, but never after that ten second countdown when the new year is suppose to bring this so-called hope and new beginnings. 

Regardless of my lack of kiss this year or all the other 19, I am still certain this is when my luck for the year crashed and burned. At first it was suddle, being let down by the person I truly cared for, to having car troubles. Nothing really new there I suppose, as my car wouldn't even be bought for 5cents on eBay by user name I'llBuyAnyonesCrap1. Then a few warnings came, my uncle grew sick. But like a silver lining, I got offered an unbelievable job to work on a yacht in Italy. Just as I think my year was in an upward turn for the better, it crashed 100x harder. All thanks to some inconsiderable jerk who hit my puppy and didn't turn back to see if he was okay - he wasn't.

Okay I tell myself, it surely can't get any worse. Next thing I know my foot is fractured, my uncle dies, and I'm being let go from my job and on the next flight back to Toronto - missing the funeral by a mere 24 hours. Thank god my sense of timing was taken from me the previous year, or I could've added that to my list too! The icing on the cake? Just recently my grandma, which I admittedly call my best friend, has been in and out of the hospital. The very next day, I am taking a leisurely stroll to collect my thoughts and create a new 'life plan' for the year, as mine clearly isn't working out for me, and what to my wondering eye appears BUT A BEAR up the road. Usually I couldn't care less if I saw a wild animal [just not wolves, but I think I have a good reason for that one!]. But this biiiiiiiig brown bear was 10x bigger then I'd ever imagined one to be in the zoo, not to mention it was missing the barricade been it and me. Remembering all the "If you see a bear" info from a pamphlet they hand out, outside a grocery store in Muskoka, I did the appropriate thing and escaped. So it's proven, this year may or may not kill me. 

If you're wondering my advice, never ever, under any circumstances go without a new years kiss. Kiss your mom, your dad, your bestie, grab your pet turtle for all I care, just kiss something! 

I know I joke around a lot, but its only because if I were to take things with any more seriousness then I do, it may cause long-term damage. So I just want to thank you for whoever reads this, and to all of you who have given me support throughout this roller coaster of a year. Please know it is appreciated and for whatever its worth, I wouldn't be here without you. I also want to apologize for my lack of humor and for my unneeded amount of complaining this post has. But hey, there is still a whole six months to turn this years rating from a "Been Hell" to an "Average". So come on, July, August, September, October, November and December...show me what you got!
xx

[this is as close as I got to a smooch for 2011]

35 years later...

Maybe its because I'm bored, or maybe its because I'm bored, but something about this blender is all wrong!
Trust me, this isn't the first time I have realized this. I was about 13 when I first began to question this blenders existence in my cupboard. As a typical teenager, I began falling in love with labels and the colour black at an early age. So it was only a natural occurrence of events that after coming home from my bestie's house and after using their state-of-the-art (black!) blender, that I began to hate my own even more. It boggled my mind that it wasn't a crime to still have this 70's puke-coloured appliance in use, while living in this new "everything good is stainless-steal" world or ours. I bugged my mom so much about this, as I knew my dad wouldn't understand a young girls desire to fit in while wanting to make smooties with her friends. Nope, my mom's response was we didn't use the blender that much to replace it with a new one. Well, maybe we would use it more if we had a blender that didn't smell like an electrical fire was about to burn down our kitchen every time we used it! Or maybe I would use it if it's 30 year-old seal would hold in the liquids I was trying to blend! But those facts were minor in the scheme of things. 
And by the time I moved out for college, blenders were on the market for about $30, so I never realized why we couldn't just replace it. Its not a bank-breaking spend by any means! It also never occurred to me that if I hated it so much I should just go buy one myself, but after years of arguing about it, I had given up hope. In fact this blender showed less and less signs of leaving the house, that I began to think, it may be buried with me when I die. I gave up. You wanted to make a smootie or pudding or a milkshake in my house-- no deal, you take that wishful thinking somewhere else my friend! It even came to the point where my friends would know how brutal and useless and potentially fire hazardous my blender was, that they began bringing their own drink making contraptions that I had only ever dreamed about, over to my house. It was bad. 
Until last week...
Out in Wal-mart with my mom, I nearly had a heart-attack right there in the store. She walked over to the blenders on the shelf (I thought to myself, this should be good!) that was when she said, "I think it's time we got a new one, what do you think?" HA! I was dumbfounded. I wanted to state my 8-year case as to my feelings and hatred towards the blender at home, but instead I said, "Good idea mom!". And there in the middle of the aisle, we loaded a new, BLACK, state-of-the-art blender into the cart. The price-tag? A whopping $29.99 ! 
But the minute my dad spots the new blender? "What do we need that for, the old one works just fine!" HA. It was then that both my parents confessed to never actually buying the now "old" blender, and that they received it as a wedding gift, nearly 36 YEARS AGO! My god!
xx