Spandex vs. Country

Living in the country is great. 
I get to drive in peace. The windows can be down without the fear of getting crazy people coming up asking me for change when at a stop light. And the only fear of having your windows open while driving is swallowing a bug. Minor compared to getting stabbed [okay, maybe getting stabbed is a bit far stretched, but Hey, look what just happened in Vancouver] For the most part, you have an open road and take advantage by cruising at the speed you wish. 
So why would today be any different? 
I woke up to the sun shinning through my window, the warmth was enough to make me jump out of bed and get going. As I flip through the flyers, coffee mug in hand, I keep in mind I really need to get an idea for a Father's Day gift or I'm doomed! Half way through the pile, the idea [and the deal!] just come to me like any other bright idea of mine. "That's it," I say to myself. And, just while we're on this topic, Yes, I do talk to myself when no one is home. 
I grab my sunnies and my flyer and walk out the door with an unusual bounce in my step as I hold the keys to my mom's SUV. The engine purrs and I excitedly open the windows for my leisurely drive into town on this gorgeous day. 
As soon as I turn onto my road however, I soon realize there is nothing glorious about this drive. Let me just start by saying, I hate cycling. I am a very active person, but if you gave me the choice of a box on wheels, or a bike, I would choose the box. Nothing about the sport appeals to me, especially the tight spandex outfit that seems to come with it. I am very health conscious and love the fact of going green for the environment, so usually seeing a cyclist doesn't bother me. And I have lived in big cities where the main source of transportation is cycling, however, they have designated lanes and they know they are at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to big vehicles. But in the country, cyclists like to challenge that "status-quo". I was only 50 ft from the driveway when I passed the first group of cyclists. Then only another 50ft until the next group of six cyclists pass me. "Wow, must be a day for bikers," I mumble under my breath, as I hope this is the end of my run-in's with them. As I go around the bend and up the hill, I swear out loud as the road reveals swarms of them! Several clusters of threes and fours take over the road as I make my way towards town. You would think that in this situation the smaller things on the road would be swerving to avoid the bigger thing (aka. ME!) however, this was definitely not the case. These bikers just took over the road like it was their job. Biking in the middle of the road to the edge, and back over across the other lane of traffic. Just the thought of passing these crazy hooligans upset my stomach, as in all country roads, they are anything but flat and straight. Passing them on a whim would be like signing my own death certificate. 
"Please, be my guest, its not like this road is made as a direct route for people to get into town, and not just a leg of the race that you are in!" I was getting frustrated. If I wanted to drive into town going 20km/h then I would have hopped in my box and joined you. 
I think it was mostly the fact that these cyclists knew they were in my way and did nothing about it that fueled my anger. On many occasions they turned around, only to reveal that I was right on their ass and showing a displeased face, and they just continued on biking in the middle of the road anyway. Have some common courtesy. How come being in a cross-country race takes away the simple rules of the road to you, but still apply to me? 
I tightened my grip around the wheel as I talked myself out of pulling over the car and getting out to punch someone. I was clearly out numbered in this situation. 

certainly i'm in debted baby, certainly, certainly...

It hasn't been my year.

I know this fact seems obvious to most, but after careful observation from the past six months, it has fully hit me like a brick wall, "2011 is not my year."  

It all started as a glorious attempt to ring in the new year with my bestie in the magical city of Toronto, with more then enough drinks. But the club was packed tighter then a sardine can, everyone sweaty and doing the fist pump [that should have been my warning right there!] and then, no kiss. Yup, you heard me right. No new years kiss. Why yes my friends, this may come as a shock to you all, as I am usually quite set in that department - but that's besides the point. You'd actually be even more tickled to know that I've never had a new years kiss- sure, I've made out under the stairs in high school and in the pouring rain like a scene outta Hollywood, but never after that ten second countdown when the new year is suppose to bring this so-called hope and new beginnings. 

Regardless of my lack of kiss this year or all the other 19, I am still certain this is when my luck for the year crashed and burned. At first it was suddle, being let down by the person I truly cared for, to having car troubles. Nothing really new there I suppose, as my car wouldn't even be bought for 5cents on eBay by user name I'llBuyAnyonesCrap1. Then a few warnings came, my uncle grew sick. But like a silver lining, I got offered an unbelievable job to work on a yacht in Italy. Just as I think my year was in an upward turn for the better, it crashed 100x harder. All thanks to some inconsiderable jerk who hit my puppy and didn't turn back to see if he was okay - he wasn't.

Okay I tell myself, it surely can't get any worse. Next thing I know my foot is fractured, my uncle dies, and I'm being let go from my job and on the next flight back to Toronto - missing the funeral by a mere 24 hours. Thank god my sense of timing was taken from me the previous year, or I could've added that to my list too! The icing on the cake? Just recently my grandma, which I admittedly call my best friend, has been in and out of the hospital. The very next day, I am taking a leisurely stroll to collect my thoughts and create a new 'life plan' for the year, as mine clearly isn't working out for me, and what to my wondering eye appears BUT A BEAR up the road. Usually I couldn't care less if I saw a wild animal [just not wolves, but I think I have a good reason for that one!]. But this biiiiiiiig brown bear was 10x bigger then I'd ever imagined one to be in the zoo, not to mention it was missing the barricade been it and me. Remembering all the "If you see a bear" info from a pamphlet they hand out, outside a grocery store in Muskoka, I did the appropriate thing and escaped. So it's proven, this year may or may not kill me. 

If you're wondering my advice, never ever, under any circumstances go without a new years kiss. Kiss your mom, your dad, your bestie, grab your pet turtle for all I care, just kiss something! 

I know I joke around a lot, but its only because if I were to take things with any more seriousness then I do, it may cause long-term damage. So I just want to thank you for whoever reads this, and to all of you who have given me support throughout this roller coaster of a year. Please know it is appreciated and for whatever its worth, I wouldn't be here without you. I also want to apologize for my lack of humor and for my unneeded amount of complaining this post has. But hey, there is still a whole six months to turn this years rating from a "Been Hell" to an "Average". So come on, July, August, September, October, November and December...show me what you got!
xx

[this is as close as I got to a smooch for 2011]

35 years later...

Maybe its because I'm bored, or maybe its because I'm bored, but something about this blender is all wrong!
Trust me, this isn't the first time I have realized this. I was about 13 when I first began to question this blenders existence in my cupboard. As a typical teenager, I began falling in love with labels and the colour black at an early age. So it was only a natural occurrence of events that after coming home from my bestie's house and after using their state-of-the-art (black!) blender, that I began to hate my own even more. It boggled my mind that it wasn't a crime to still have this 70's puke-coloured appliance in use, while living in this new "everything good is stainless-steal" world or ours. I bugged my mom so much about this, as I knew my dad wouldn't understand a young girls desire to fit in while wanting to make smooties with her friends. Nope, my mom's response was we didn't use the blender that much to replace it with a new one. Well, maybe we would use it more if we had a blender that didn't smell like an electrical fire was about to burn down our kitchen every time we used it! Or maybe I would use it if it's 30 year-old seal would hold in the liquids I was trying to blend! But those facts were minor in the scheme of things. 
And by the time I moved out for college, blenders were on the market for about $30, so I never realized why we couldn't just replace it. Its not a bank-breaking spend by any means! It also never occurred to me that if I hated it so much I should just go buy one myself, but after years of arguing about it, I had given up hope. In fact this blender showed less and less signs of leaving the house, that I began to think, it may be buried with me when I die. I gave up. You wanted to make a smootie or pudding or a milkshake in my house-- no deal, you take that wishful thinking somewhere else my friend! It even came to the point where my friends would know how brutal and useless and potentially fire hazardous my blender was, that they began bringing their own drink making contraptions that I had only ever dreamed about, over to my house. It was bad. 
Until last week...
Out in Wal-mart with my mom, I nearly had a heart-attack right there in the store. She walked over to the blenders on the shelf (I thought to myself, this should be good!) that was when she said, "I think it's time we got a new one, what do you think?" HA! I was dumbfounded. I wanted to state my 8-year case as to my feelings and hatred towards the blender at home, but instead I said, "Good idea mom!". And there in the middle of the aisle, we loaded a new, BLACK, state-of-the-art blender into the cart. The price-tag? A whopping $29.99 ! 
But the minute my dad spots the new blender? "What do we need that for, the old one works just fine!" HA. It was then that both my parents confessed to never actually buying the now "old" blender, and that they received it as a wedding gift, nearly 36 YEARS AGO! My god!
xx

Fly me to the moon

There’s something about the airports I absolutely love. 

Everyone is filled with the excitement of going to a new destination that you can’t help but get excited too – I swear it’s contagious! 

However, it never ceases to amaze me how our basic manners and concern for other peoples personal space just goes out the window as soon as you walk through those magnificent, futuristic sliding doors. It’s as if we've forgot all about our life lessons learned up until this point. Never will you have as many people body checking you as you do in the airport! And half the time it’s with their bags or they’re just so excited about seeing a Dolce & Gabana shop for the first time, that they don’t even apologize. Now, I realize it is a far out Canadian thing to do, by apologizing for every little thing. But, by the time I even make it to my tin-can you so call 'My seat', I find myself exhausted from saying that five-letter word. You rolled your suitcase, which I can only assume has the weight of 100kg of bricks, over my toes. “Sorry,” I say. Oh so you decided to stop dead in your tracks and turn around so violently you’d think you’d spotted Lady Gaga ? – Oh, my bad. I didn’t mean to bump into you while I was carrying on at my leisurely pace with, what I thought was enough distance between you and me to stop if need be, “Sorry.” Waiting at the food stand and someone cuts in front of you in the queue – No, please, you go right ahead, I’m sure your bag of crisps and coke are much more important to you then my bottle of water is to me, “Sorry,” I say, as a bead of sweat surely runs down my face. And the stereo types… It’s so down right embarrassing I can’t help but cover my face.

As I’m standing in the same queue, another man so rudely steps in front of me. And without even looking at the biggest wall of juice selections I’d ever seen, he asks the lady behind the counter if they have any orange juice. When she gives him a little look of confusion, he proceeds to say, “Orraaaaaange Juuuuuiiice, do you have any?” I don’t know why Americans feel the need to speak louder and open their eyes wider to be understood by Italians, but they do it anyways. Surely if she didn’t understand you the first time, why is she going to understand you now? If anything, you’ve creeped her out with your scary eyes and your louder than needed voice! I just laughed and muttered the word ‘typical’ under my breath. That was before I spotted him. That guy that I swear is in every-single-airport! You know the one! He wears a god-awful Hawaiian shirt, with flip-flops, has no business wearing his sunnies inside, and is more than likely scarring his teenage daughter for life, as she shyly follows about 50 ft behind him! How he always end up at the same airport I’m at is beyond me, but I think it’s safe to assume he may live there.

I would have to say my favourite thing to spot at the airport though is someone running. I love making up stories as to why they are full-out sprinting through the airport with that slow motion face that screams ‘Move out of the way!’ while everyone carries on walking [weaving, even] right in his path. I always move for the poor sucker, as I think he is running to catch the woman of his dreams, tell her how much he loves her and then proposes to her right then and there. I’m a hopeless romantic that way and think that a proposal based solely on spontaneity is as good as it gets. But that also depends what mood I’m in, or what romantic comedy I saw recently! My other story I often follow is that this man is running from the law. He was trying to smuggle in drugs, guns or more then the allotted 100ml of body lotion and got busted! But usually this only comes to mind when I see an authority figure running right behind him, as one naturally would!

The airport is an entertaining place. And I love to love it, as it is the only place where I find myself getting more annoyed with people the longer I spend there. Why just now as I am writing this, three different people at three separate [but not all that far apart] times came up to ask me, “Do you have the internet on that thing?” First off, please do not refer to my Macbook as a “thing”, thank you. Second of all, chill the F out. Are you unaware that the airport is not the jungle? You can get Internet if you want to pay an arm and a leg for 10 minutes worth. But, no! “I do not have the Internet, I’m actually just typing – Sorry!” The look of disappointment and shock I receive when they see a 20-year-old girl, like myself, is just typing and not itching to check Facebook is a whole other story I won’t even go into.

xx

In the past 24hrs

I've .......

Had a day off [first one in a month]

Went to the doctors to see about my sore foot….

Turns out, I fractured it – lovely!

Went shopping

Got a little sun-kissed skin, aka. A sunburn.

Had an amazing pizza

Slept for nine-hours straight! [first time, in a long time]

Got let go from my job

Missed my Uncle's Funeral 

Packed up all my shit into my zebra suit case

And will be catching the 7a.m. flight back to Pearson International.

I'm sitting in my secluded hotel room in Treiste, Italy. Desperately needing sleep, but can’t fall asleep for the life of me. All I keep thinking about is how I somehow knew this was coming --- another job-hunt is under way. And another life changing event has happened to my family that I was not there for. FML. 

I need a miracle. 

xx

Where I've been so far, in pictures.

 Just a beautiful view after leaving a small city in Italy we'd stopped at for the day!

 Stromboli Volcano. ^ Magnificent to see from about 5 miles away by boat. I was up on the top deck setting up the sun tan lotions when this beautiful view stopped me dead in my tracks. Sadly it was to foggy to see all the way to the top- next time!

 This is ^ somewhere between Stromboli Volcano and Sicilia ! Just popped up in the middle of some islands.

 The Caves @ Poligano. ^

Not as rich as all the other parts of Italy, but the whole cities waterfront is set on this structure. There is even a running restaurant set inside one of the caves from the 1700's!

These two ^ v are from Dubrovnik, Croatia. 

Beautiful place with mouthing watering Calamari, even better free Gelato (we were wearing out crew uniforms and it was suddenly free for us!) and some amazing tucked away bars on the side of a cliff!

Currently I am at the veeeery top of the boot and then around the bay. Its so far off the map that it doesn't even look like it's considered Italy! The owners have left the boat, and trip numero ono is down for the count, trip two starts in three days....But here we are now in Trieste, Italy with a WHOLE day off. First one in a month!
x

All that i'm after is a life full of laughter

Between thinking of what to say and how to say it, my blog has sat at a standstill. I find myself more at a loss for words than I have been in my entire life - strange behaviour on my end. On a daily basis I find my eyes glazing over as people speak to me and I can't be bothered by any problems other than my own. I'm like a machine, working and going on with my day as I should, but having no reaction to all the chaos.
Time is a funny thing to me right now. Some days it goes so quick I wonder where it went. Others, it taunts me by how painfully slow its going. I'm both very excited for what is to come and very nervous. On occasion I wonder what I am doing half-way across the world when I should be at home spending time with my family, but often it is how I can't wait to start living my life. It never occurs to me that I am living in it right now, however. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I have so many big plans for myself, yet haven't the slightest clue where to start them. It feels like I'm wasting time, but then again I am having the time of my life. 

As long as you smile, nothing else matters. 

xx