Sunday, July 10, 2011

i'll sleep when i'm dead.

We all need a little more adventure in our lives...

So talking with my best friend (we've been bff's since age 4!) we decided it had been all too long since we'd both put down our cellphones and busted out the paddles. So we did just that. One extremely windy day (No, we didn't intent on it being that way)  we woke up early and loaded the canoe on top of her little mazda and drove to Nottawasaga River in search of the same adventure from five years earlier. And we did!... Not only did I get us lost while holding a map in my hand, but we had to pull over several times in order to assure the canoe wouldn't fly off the roof and land on the road behind us or even worse, on someones car! When I finally managed to get us back on the right road, the river was lovely, and our paddling skills came back so naturally it's as if we'd never stopped. We caught up on each others lives and even brown bagged it for lunch, it was amazing and I can't wait to do it again. Of course it did help that we only had to paddle 1/4 of the way back! You gotta love rivers and their currents.
 Ah yes, then comes the good'ole Warrior Dash! Ironically enough when I got let go from my job from a fractured foot, the last thing I had on my mind was doing a 5km extreme obstacle course on ski hills. But I couldn't resist! I signed up so fast I didn't even consider the thought of further damage to my body. And believe me, I did a real number! 
Not only was this course filled with deep mucky-mud puddles that contained rocks so sharp in them you'd mistake it for broken glass, but it also had rough dirt paths and extreme heights. During the 40-something minutes it took me to complete it, we hurdled over and under ropes, tires, hay bails, cars, and fire! My favourite part however, was the giant slip n'slide that they had man-made on one of the ski hills. This so called "water slide" had no qualities that would pass for a slide at Wonderland, nor the safety. The only thing it had in common with an actual water slide was the water, and even that was a stretch. Thinking this was going to be by far the best part of the race, I took a running leap and slammed my body against it hoping to make up for some lost time. The second I did, I immediately regretted my decision. Now I was hurdling (at a good speed) towards the center of this tarp that had a thin coating of water on it, with huge rips in it revealing the MASSIVE bed of rocks underneath it. Sure enough as I see this and try to quickly change my course away from the rocks and come to the realization that this is why I had to sign a waiver, my sister slams into the back of me giving me an extra boost into the deathly rocks. For lack of some swearing and cursing that came after that, I will just let you know that I now have the biggest case of rock and gravel burn on my ass and knee's you've ever seen! Who decided to build a water slide on a bed of rocks with a tarp thinner then wax paper is beyond me, but I paid the price!
I wouldn't say it's as bad as the time I fell off a moving scooter in Ft. Lauderdale, but it's a close second. Just when I thought my torture was over from this race of hell, my sister and I go to jump into the mud pit at the end and crawl under the 'fake barbwire'! Well fake my ass, my hair gets caught in it and reefs my neck back into the most awkward position of life and now I have another injury to add to my list!
... I crossed the finish line and immediately wanted my free beer (well technically, that beer cost me $60 in registration fees!) But it never tasted so good, let me tell you.

Once we went and dropped our shoes off in the shoe donation pile, mine which no doubt had a full making of a swamp inside them, we got hosed down. Yes, something that I thought would never compare to my $60 mildly cold beer! But standing there with 50 of my closest muddy warriors we lined up and got hosed down by firefighters! If that isn't worth all my blood and sweat, I don't know what is! By the time we got home, my lack of hydration had been replaced by alcohol and my scraps and cuts burned terribly as I tried to get the caked on mud out of my hair and nose. Just know that I didn't call it a night and go to bed early, which I could have easily done. I was a champ and went out with the girls to throw down a little rodeo at the ranch. Notice how I'm the one who looks like a lobster from all the sun and running, not really a good look for me.
It was great fun, however for the next few days until my ass-scrap calms down, I am limited to wearing skirts and dresses. Just what a jean-short wearing tom-girl likes to hear in the middle of summer ! Greeeeaaat.