Tuesday, September 4, 2012


I changed my Facebook banner of something other then you last week...
It was the one of you walking ever so gracefully on the rock at the cottage. The water was like glass in the background. Your ever-changing coat illuminated in the sunshine and you seemed generally concerned about something at a paws-depth in the water. The ripples from your anxiety to get the rock shift the trees that mirrored on the surface. I remember the moment like it was yesterday. The crisp spring air chilled my fingers as I pressed hurriedly on the camera shutter. I'm so glad I captured that moment.

I changed my Blackberry Wallpaper today...
The one of us in the blistering cold on the same lake. It was February and we were going for our daily snowshoe walk - you were four months old then. It took six + shots in order to capture this very one. The ones leading up to this moment included a nose bite (on your behave), a glove steal and a collar grab (on my behave). You have snow on your nose because you were just digging in the ground, like you were looking for something. You were always curious to find something. I had rosey cheeks because I was chasing you not because I wanted my glove, but mostly because it was getting you wild as you ran around like a big-pawed goof ball. I love this picture so much because your ears are tucked back, eyes looking where I wanted them and the snow sprinkles on your nose. It almost looks as if you were in trouble when I took it and that look on your face is priceless.
I have looked at this picture everyday for the last four months since you've died. It's the first thing I see, like when we use to stretch on the floor in the morning, and the last thing I see at night like when I use to get a bedtime visit.

I want you to know that I hovered my finger over the "Save Changes" button for a long time on both of these changes. I wasn't ready to pick up my phone every day and not see you there, but I had to find a picture that made me happy and not boiling with anger that you're gone. Please don't hate me for that.
I miss you everyday <3