it's always been you

There is a four-letter word that has been bothering me a lot more than usual. No, its not a swear word, those never bother me. And no, it is not describing the weather- even though I know it has been freakishly hot lately. It’s the good old fashion word that scares some people to death, yet to some it comes so easily you wonder what’s wrong with me?

Love.

Its something I’ve truly only experienced once. However, I think that me being only 20, its not a bad thing to limit the amount of times I say it aloud – minus the times I say it to my family and friends. But that’s not the kind of love I’ve been having a problem with. My friends and family are always there for me, and when one often uses that fearful little word to others, family and friends always goes hand-in-hand. But it’s the love between a simple man and a simple woman that I’m talking about today.

Why is it that some can experience it time and time again, when others are still trying to figure out if they’ve even had it at all? People sing songs, write breath-taking poems and even confess about it in unusual places. It causes headaches, nausea, sleep-loss and uncontrollable emotions. It can bring you up into some ones arms, or make you crumble to your knees. It’s ugly, beautiful, lying and powerful. It never ceases to amaze me what a little love can do, but it also doesn’t shock me when it comes crashing and burning. Maybe I’m being a little negative about it all, but I think at the moment I have good reason.

My sad story has been about five-years in the making. And it has caused me so much delight, pleasure and pain that I would need another five-years to describe it to you.  However, this pair that I speak of are by no means a match made in heaven. When one of us is adventurous, fun and makes the best out of what they have, the other is intelligent, goes for what they want and is grounded. But it works for them. These two have helped each other out in ways I never knew friends could have, and fight like there is no tomorrow. There have been long periods in which they don’t speak and times when they are inseperable, but at the end of the day they always come back to each other.

Now I know this happens a lot more in life then I would even like to consider, but timing was never their strong suit. When one is tied down, the other is not and visa versa. It’s a story Hollywood has written a million times, and is surely going for a tragic-love story ending, in which I can only assume takes place at an altar.

This is why my four-letter word problem can be followed by another eight-letter word. Hopeless.Perhaps I'm leaving parts out of this situation, but I feel that Mr. Depp says it much better than I ever could. Cheers, Johnny.

xx